what HAVE the Romans done for US?

REG: They've bled us white, the bastards. They've taken everything we had, not just from us, from our fathers and from our fathers' fathers.

STAN: And from our fathers' fathers' fathers.

REG: Yes.

STAN: And from our fathers' fathers' fathers' fathers.

REG: All right, Stan. Don't labour the point. And what have they ever given us IN RETURN? (he pauses smugly)

XERXES: The aqueduct?

REG: What?

XERXES: The aqueduct.

REG: Oh yeah, yeah they gave us that. Yeah. That's true.

MASKED COMMANDO: And the sanitation!

STAN: Oh yes ... sanitation, Reg, you remember what the city used to be like.

REG: All right, I'll grant you that the aqueduct and the sanitation are two things that the Romans HAVE done ...

MATTHIAS: And the roads ...

REG (sharply): Well YES OBVIOUSLY the roads ... the roads go without saying. But apart from the aqueduct, the sanitation and the roads ...

ANOTHER MASKED COMMANDO: Irrigation ...

OTHER MASKED VOICES: Medicine ... Education ... Health

REG: Yes ... all right, fair enough ...

COMMANDO NEARER THE FRONT: And the wine ...

GENERAL: Oh yes! True!

FRANCIS: Yeah. That's something we'd really miss if the Romans left, Reg.

MASKED COMMANDO AT BACK: Public baths!

STAN: AND it's safe to walk in the streets at night now.

FRANCIS: Yes, they certainly know how to keep order ... (general nodding) ... let's face it, they're the only ones who could in a place like this. (more general murmurs of agreement)

REG: All right ... all right ... but apart from better sanitation and medicine and education and irrigation and public health and roads and a freshwater system and baths and public order ... what HAVE the Romans done for US?

XERXES: Brought peace!

REG (very angry, he's not having a good meeting at all): What!? Oh ... (scornfully) Peace, yes ... shut up!